my body and me

This topic for me is really sensitive.

When I was younger I used to be chubby a little bit, I loved eating snaks and chocolate every day.
It brothered me, my belly was big, my arms were big and my thights were thick. My school mates always bulled me because I was bigger.

At the age of 16 my weight made me depressed so that was the timw when I decided to lose some weight. And I started to work out and eat clean. At first nothing happend, I was so focused to get skinny that I pushed my self into a deeper depression.

In january of 2015 I had my first panic attack and that made me realise that this lifestyle what am I in is really unhealthy. And after this I started to lose weight, at march I lost 7 kg. I felt strong and happy, it was the first time I was really proud of myself .
But I was so afraid that I'm going to gain some weight back so I was really carefulll with food.
I didn't know that I was unhappy.

Now maybe I gained some weight back but II'm still working out and trying to eat well.
I'm still not tottaly happy whit my body, maybe I never will.
I'm not affraid to eat a hamburger and snaks, I feel more comfortable than before but this is the most important to me😚